i visited my greatgrandmum today, it feels wierd...

this is completely nuts. i have to say. and, for the first time ever, i'm thoroughly doubting myself. i keep double taking, questioning my acts. it's wierd you know. in a million years, i would never have thought i would be here. i would have never saw myself like this. somehow, i don't even think i like myself that much now either.

anyways, my mother made me pass up such a huge opportunity.
it's like what they say about years later you would regret not going for something.. well, i have a feeling this is gonna be one of them.
but, whatevs, it's too late to change now.

anyways. gonna turn in. church tomorrow. the first time in months. wierd or what.

p.s. sorry for the excessive use of wierd today, i have my reasons. and the lack of new vocabulary too.

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okay. this is gonna be a _____ post. i don't know what to put it as. cause feeling so deprived in so many areas lead you to not know that much anymore. i haven't touched a computer in a little over a month and everything feels so entirely different already. i'm afraid i'm becoming a technophobe. HAHA. ((:

anyways. firstly i have to apologize to those i have woke up in the middle of the night, bawling. thanks anyways. i think this refers to only two people. so, see, you guys are really special!! ((:

so, in the end, i resigned. but, somehow i'm thankful, cause i don't have to work with this stupid, idiotic manager of mine! HA! who said i still owe her two days, and i told her to shove a pole up her arse and go fuck herself. so there. who later i heard from my fellow collegues, who said that she cried. hmm, hopefully not by me. but, anyways, since i already going to rot in hell; toes up, famous words by SUliza. HAHA. but, still i'm gonna miss you people. great times. ((:

so, it's settled, after so much damn deliberations and their stupid "joint decision" i'm finally going to poly. who after that, stupid people, you know who you are, who went MIA for so long and said that i'm just taking the easy route out, so much for jc; undermines me. stupid.

anyways, i need a new computer. so, i think i'm gonna get a laptop, after my mom gave the one supposedly bought for me to my father to use.

life's becoming really shitty these days. with parents claiming that i'm over independent, if that's such a bad thing at all, and tying me on such a short leash. hello, i'm approaching legality, there's only so much you guys can do. but, i can imagine them doing t he mose embarassing and stupid things to me in the future. why can't i have understanding parents who don't gossip about me to my aunt's (her sisters) and collegues? it's like please. i don't go gallavanting around. they're making me out to be some kinda loose girl or some sort. please, i have self presavation.

i'm extremely apologetic to the very disjointed post here. my mind is in too many dimensions and i'm only typing as much as i can before i jump into another dimension.

going for a run. laters.

p.s. how was your cny?